December 03 2019

The Fabulous Adventures of Bobby, Lupino and Bailey


Lupino came especially happy to work this morning with an unusual smile on his face.

”Why do you look so happy today?” Asked Bailey. “Is it about that date you had yesterday? I see the tiredness in your eyes”.

”Actually no, Bailey”, answered Lupino. “I spent the whole night browsing through the asset store, there are pretty good deals there, you know”.

Bailey and Lupino Endlessly Working on Crappy Crush

“Oh crap, don’t tell me you bought another asset pack. You artists are all the same”.

”This time it’s different! I swear! Remember these extra particle effects we were so desperately looking for in the last couple of months? Guess what?! I got them all! Soooo…. I was wondering…. if you could, maybe, implement the first batch. It’s going to be juuuust ten of them, promise.”

”I don’t know, Lupino. We’re already tight on memory. I really don’t think…”

Lupino interrupted him. “… And I already submitted them to the git repository. I know you programmers like git. And cake. I brought you cake. Mouth-watering Red Velvet Cake. Your favorite”.

Bailey’s stomach started rumbling. “Okay okay, I’ll give it a shot. For the cake. But to be noted that is against my will”.

A few days later…

Bobby just finished a long day of work. These days were feeling longer and longer than ever. He was continuously stuck in endless meetings full of obnoxious people. A kick on the teeth would be less painful. He walked into the train and sat in one of the emptiest seating areas.

But that’s ok. He could finally chill out a bit, relax some of that tension built over the week…. Bobby reached for his phone. After all, it was about time he got a well-deserved break.

His fingers automatically swiped right and launched one of his favorite games. Crappy Crush. A recommendation from his girlfriend. Unbelievable how she managed to always be right. Not that he would ever admit that out loud.

”This freaking game is so addictive… my brain is so full of dopamine”, muttered Bobby.

Just before Bobby could realize, the store started updating the game. Again.

Another new patch? Wait a second…500MB?! They are losing their minds….”, he said to himself, disgruntled. “But what else can I do for an hour stuck in this train?”

A few minutes later, Bobby finally managed to get to play.

Intro, main menu, continue… and there he was, exactly where he left it yesterday night.

The ride was a bit rough on his back this time. Bobby was getting older. He could almost feel that tiny bit of discomfort but enemy waves didn’t stop spawning. So he did what he loved most: fighting and looting.

Bobby During His Favorite Time of the Day: Playing Crappy Crush

Half an hour into the game, the game froze. It was just for a second but to Bobby that seemed like an eternity. “What the hell?” Bobby felt a rush of adrenaline.

The phone started ringing loudly. Bobby felt chills running down his spine as he noticed the cold stare of the passengers in the wagon.

”It’s my girl-friend, I have to take this call,” said Bobby to an older lad sitting next right to him. The lad nodded in approval as if he knew what was coming. Bobby HAD to answer.

”Yes, honey?”

“The doggos have no food! Remember to buy the croccantini they like before getting in the train” said Bobby’s girlfriend.

“Ehm, sure my love. I was about to…” And she hung up, not even giving him the time to make up a lie.

”Well, I guess it’s time to go back to business,” said Bobby to himself. “I should have a few more minutes to beat that boss. Here, with the new sword of flames from the new update…”

He reopened the game. Something odd in front of his eyes. The game didn’t react.

He waited, but nothing changed.

No panic. Nothing to be worried about. Bobby decided to restart his phone.

Crashes can happen, after all”. He tried to convince himself.

Bobby launched the game once again. He was about to reach his beloved Continue button. But somehow…

”Why the heck is it greyed out?! Only new game seems to work here?” he asked out loud, as if Bailey could actually answer him.

Bobby started feeling cold sweat running down his forehead.

”This cannot be. I played this for almost 30 hours. Please tell me I lost…”.

His cold sweat quickly turned into trembling.

And trembling turned into tears. He would have given anything for them to be crocodile tears. But no. They were very real, salty tears.

This time, he was not being melodramatic.

With all his might, he furiously threw his phone onto the floor. The screen cracked, but he didn’t care. The touchscreen still worked, and he would do his best to put it to use now.

You Don’t Want to Rub Salt into Bobby’s Wound

Bobby concentrated all his rage on a single move.

He opened the app store and looked for the game. Lighting-fast, he wrote the only review he had done in his life.

A 1-star review telling how much he used to love this game. That is, until the last patch ruined his 30h+ hours of work. All the fun he had transformed into deep sorrow.

With a cry of exasperation, he submitted the review. And he felt relieved.

He didn’t know yet, but his review would eventually become viral.

Bobby was not alone, after all.

Liters of tears from all around the globe were spilled over that damn update.

In a matter of weeks, the average rating of the game dropped to 2.5 stars.

In a haste, Bailey removed the particle effects.

He knew all along it was a stupid idea. But that didn’t matter anymore. It was too late.

People stopped playing. New players didn’t bother.

All the work the team put for good two years was… just gone.

But it is only 10 of them“, Bailey never forgot these words.

Promising that would never happen again, Bailey made the best investment in his life.

Bailey joined the first sprint of Addressables for the Busy Developer.

Join Bailey and other game developers on this transformational journey towards game development enlightenment
The Gamedev Guru Logo

Performance Labs SL
Paseo de la Castellana 194, Ground Floor B
28046 Madrid, Spain

This website is not sponsored by or affiliated with Facebook, Unity Technologies, Gamedev.net or Gamasutra.

The content you find here is based on my own opinions. Use this information at your own risk.
Some icons provided by Icons8